Mindful Living

In our fast-paced world, mindfulness offers a path to connection and inner peace. The "Mindful Living" series by William and Hui Cha Stanek encourages you to slow down, be present, and transform your everyday life. Whether you’re new to mindfulness or deepening your practice, these articles provide practical guidance for living with purpose, presence, and clarity. Embrace each moment with awareness, and connect more deeply with yourself and the world around you.

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Life has a way of pulling us in a million different directions at once. Between the constant demands of work, the pressures of family life, and the never-ending deluge of information and notifications, staying present—truly present—can feel like a distant dream. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned from navigating the intense unpredictability of military life and the personal challenges that come with it, it’s that staying grounded is not just possible, it’s essential.

Hui Cha and I have faced more than our share of chaos. From the life-or-death situations of combat missions to the personal heartbreak of losing loved ones, we’ve been through storms that could easily have swept us away. But through it all, we’ve found ways to stay anchored, to keep our feet on the ground even when the world around us was spinning out of control. This is our story of staying present in a chaotic world—and how you can do the same.

Staying Grounded in the Midst of Military Life: Lessons from the Frontlines

Military life is the epitome of unpredictability. One minute, you’re on base, training as usual; the next, you’re thrust into a high-stakes situation halfway around the world. It’s a life where plans change in an instant, where the only constant is uncertainty. For me, staying grounded wasn’t just about keeping my cool—it was about survival.

During my time in the Gulf War, I learned quickly that the mind can be your greatest ally or your worst enemy. The mental toll of being in a warzone is something few can truly understand unless they’ve lived it. The fear, the anxiety, the constant vigilance—it can tear you apart if you let it. But I wasn’t about to let that happen. Instead, I focused on what I could control: my breath, my thoughts, and my actions.

One technique that became my lifeline was something so simple, yet so powerful: mindful breathing. In the chaos of battle, I would take a moment to focus entirely on my breath. Inhaling slowly, holding it for a few seconds, and then exhaling just as slowly. This simple act did more than just calm my nerves—it brought me back to the present moment. It reminded me that, despite the chaos, I was still here, still alive, and still capable of making decisions that could save lives, including my own.

Hui Cha, on the other hand, had her own battles to fight. While I was deployed, she was often left to manage everything on her own, from running our household to handling the emotional weight of uncertainty. She didn’t have the luxury of knowing what would happen next, or even if I’d come home. But instead of letting the fear and anxiety consume her, she found ways to stay present and grounded, drawing from her deep well of inner strength.

One of her most powerful tools was a practice rooted in her Korean heritage: sitting quietly in reflection. This wasn’t about ruminating on worst-case scenarios; it was about creating a space where she could process her emotions without being overwhelmed by them. By setting aside time each day to simply sit and be, she was able to maintain her sense of self even in the face of overwhelming uncertainty. This practice allowed her to meet each day with clarity and resolve, no matter what challenges it brought.

Practical Tips for Staying Present: Finding Calm in the Eye of the Storm

Staying present in a chaotic world isn’t just about survival—it’s about thriving. It’s about finding a way to be fully engaged with your life, even when everything around you is demanding your attention. Here are some of the strategies that Hui Cha and I have used to stay grounded, no matter what life throws our way.

1. Mindful Breathing: Your Anchor in Any Storm

   As I mentioned earlier, mindful breathing is a simple yet incredibly effective tool for staying present. The beauty of this practice is that you can do it anywhere, anytime. Whether you’re in a high-pressure meeting or stuck in traffic, taking a few deep, mindful breaths can bring you back to the present moment and help you regain your focus.

   How to Practice Mindful Breathing:

   • Start by sitting or standing comfortably, with your spine straight and your shoulders relaxed.
   • Close your eyes if you’re able to. If not, simply soften your gaze.
   • Take a slow, deep breath in through your nose, allowing your abdomen to expand as you do.
   • Hold the breath for a few seconds.
   • Slowly exhale through your mouth, letting go of any tension as you do.
   • Repeat this process for a few minutes, focusing entirely on the sensation of your breath entering and leaving your body.

2. Digital Detox: Cutting Through the Noise

   In today’s world, it’s easy to get lost in the digital noise. Our phones, computers, and other devices are constantly vying for our attention, pulling us away from the present moment. But staying present means cutting through that noise and reclaiming your attention.

   How to Implement a Digital Detox:

   • Set specific times during the day to check your devices. Outside of those times, keep them on silent and out of reach.
   • Create device-free zones in your home, like the dining room or bedroom, where you can focus on being present with your loved ones.
   • Consider taking a full day each week where you disconnect from all digital devices. Use this time to engage in activities that bring you joy and peace, like spending time in nature, reading, or practicing mindfulness.

3. Sitting Quietly in Reflection: Embracing Stillness

   Inspired by Hui Cha’s practice of sitting quietly in reflection, this technique is about creating space for stillness in your life. In a world that’s constantly pushing us to do more, being still is an act of rebellion—and one that can bring profound peace.

   How to Practice Sitting Quietly in Reflection:

   • Find a comfortable, quiet place where you won’t be disturbed.
   • Sit in a relaxed position, with your hands resting in your lap or on your knees.
   • Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths to settle into the moment.
   • Allow your mind to wander, but don’t get caught up in any particular thoughts. Simply observe them as they come and go.
   • After 10-15 minutes, slowly open your eyes and take a moment to notice how you feel.

4. Mindful Movement: Connecting Body and Mind

   Movement is a powerful way to stay present, especially when it’s done mindfully. Whether it’s a walk in the park, a yoga session, or simply stretching at your desk, moving your body with awareness can help you reconnect with the present moment.

   How to Practice Mindful Movement:

   • Choose a physical activity that you enjoy and can do mindfully, such as walking, stretching, or yoga.
   • As you move, focus on the sensations in your body—the feeling of your feet on the ground, the stretch in your muscles, the rhythm of your breath.
   • If your mind starts to wander, gently bring your focus back to the movement and sensations in your body.
   • Finish your session with a few moments of stillness, allowing yourself to fully absorb the effects of the practice.

A Pivotal Moment: When Chaos Almost Overwhelmed Us

There was a time when the chaos of life nearly got the better of us. It was after we’d both been through some of the hardest years of our lives—years filled with loss, illness, and the relentless demands of military life. We were exhausted, physically and emotionally, and it felt like we were barely holding on.

One night, after another grueling day, we found ourselves sitting in silence, overwhelmed by the weight of it all. The silence was deafening, and for a moment, it felt like we might be swallowed up by the darkness that had settled over us.

But then something shifted. Hui Cha reached out and took my hand, her grip strong and steady. She looked at me and said, “We’re still here. Right now, we’re still here. And that’s enough.”

That simple acknowledgment of the present moment—of the fact that we were still standing, still together—was like a lifeline. It pulled us out of the spiral of despair and brought us back to the here and now, where we could begin to heal.

From that moment on, we made a pact to practice mindfulness every day, no matter how chaotic life got. It wasn’t always easy, and there were days when it felt like we were just going through the motions. But over time, those daily moments of presence became our anchor, helping us weather even the fiercest storms.

Techniques for Staying Present: Mindful Breathing and Digital Detox

Staying present is a skill that can be cultivated, and it starts with small, intentional actions. Here are a couple of techniques that we’ve found particularly effective in cutting through the noise and staying grounded in the present moment.

• Mindful Breathing: As mentioned earlier, this technique is about using your breath as an anchor in the midst of chaos. It’s something you can do anytime, anywhere, to bring yourself back to the present moment.

• Digital Detox: In a world that’s constantly connected, a digital detox is like a breath of fresh air. By intentionally stepping away from screens, you can reconnect with the people and experiences that matter most. Try setting aside time each day or week to unplug, even if it’s just for an hour.

These practices might seem small, but they have the power to create big shifts in your life. By regularly engaging in mindful breathing and digital detoxes, you’ll begin to notice a greater sense of calm and clarity, even in the midst of life’s chaos.

Conclusion: The Rebellion of Being Present

In a world that constantly demands more—more productivity, more engagement, more everything—choosing to be present is an act of rebellion. It’s a way of saying, “I will not be swept away by the tide of distractions. I will stand my ground and claim this moment as my own.”

For Hui Cha and me, staying present has been our lifeline. It’s how we’ve navigated the storms of life without losing ourselves in the process. And it’s how we continue to find joy and meaning, even when the world around us feels overwhelming.

So I invite you to join us in this rebellion. Start small, with a few mindful breaths or a short digital detox. Embrace the messiness, the chaos, the unpredictability of life. And remember, in the midst of it all, you have the power to stay grounded, to stay present, and to find peace.

You’re still here. Right now, in this moment, you’re still here. And that’s enough.